I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
