Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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