I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Come on in and take your pants off
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
