Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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