I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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