i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
