i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
