I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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