Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
