I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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