Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
