She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
