Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
