What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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