I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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