so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
