I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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