we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
