last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
