Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
