ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
