My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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