All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
