This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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