I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
