is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
