Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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