i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
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I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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