ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This gyro tastes like lonliness
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
