Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
