he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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