Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
