Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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