dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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