Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
