Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
