the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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