don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
