I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
