that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh god it's open bar.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
