she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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