YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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