On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize