Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Found your dick twin last night
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The feeling are messing with the penis
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
