could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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