I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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