Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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