Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Everclear isn't food dammit
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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