ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
