Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
