I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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