Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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