addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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