i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
