I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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