The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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