just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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