girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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