I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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