i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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