Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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