Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
