he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
