this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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