I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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