Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
