Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
